tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5168184912090085196.post7539345811447605668..comments2021-10-15T05:57:01.005-04:00Comments on Missing Bobby: A Widow's Journey: Dismissal & ValidationUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5168184912090085196.post-58088363463636019782012-08-16T13:04:09.106-04:002012-08-16T13:04:09.106-04:00I understand why you feel that way, and I'm so...I understand why you feel that way, and I'm sorry you aren't getting your feelings validated. I'm guessing your friends and family mean well -- they want to help alleviate those fears. They are just skipping the step that you really need now, which is to listen and sympathize. It is important to have friends who will listen to and respect all the feelings you have, not just the "sunny" ones -- who the hell can expect a widow to have only those kinds of emotions and thoughts? <br /><br />If I can be obnoxious and add my two cents' now....well, I'd just say that the more you think about those fears now, the more power you're giving them. Four years is a long time, so you never know what might happen. You may or may not have new hobbies, new friends, a new love. Even if you have none of those, and you do end up being terribly lonely and bored for some time, there's no reason to start feeling that and dreading it now. Leave that suckiness for then, when it's actually happening. (Easier said than done, I know, but thinking of things this way has helped me try to focus more on "today" than future fears.)<br /><br />Sorry if that last part seemed preachy. I do sypmathize with you, and to some extent I understand your fears. I too have fears about the future and what I think will happen if certain things don't change, and I know I also have a tendency to fret about that instead of focusing on the here and now and having faith that things will work out in the end. So I'm just sharing a way of looking at things that has helped me; I certainly don't mean to discount your feelings. I understand, I think what you're feeling is normal, and I wish you the best while your sons are away at camp. Oh, and I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only widow who has become an obsessive closet organizer! (Yes, there are only "so many" closets to clean, but do you know how many times you can re-organize them?!) ;)Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18287786945607376110noreply@blogger.com