Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Getting my "Girly" Back

Back in 2006, Justin Timberlake came out with a song "Sexy Back".  I am not a big fan of the song, but in the song he said, "I'm bringing sexy back".

Well, I could care less right now about bringing my "sexy" back.  But I would love to bring my "girly" back.  They say widowhood changes who you are - your thoughts, your feelings, possibly even your essence - but who knew it would actually change the way I look?

When Bobby was alive, I wore more makeup, high heels almost every day, and lots of bright colors.  I have a great shoe collection!!  My nails were done most of the time as well.  I wear my hair long, and I used to take the time to straighten it almost every day because it can get very curly.  I would also wear dresses or skirts on a regular basis.

Now?  That great shoe collection is collecting dust because now I wear the same old pair of black flats every day to work.  (Once in a while I'll mix it up and wear the brown flats).  Gone are the bright colors.  I wear mostly muted and/or dark colors.  My hair is still long, but I cannot remember the last time I straightened it.  I wash it and go.  I've had my nails done off and on, but I usually end up peeling them off because they are annoying and they get in the way of all the new responsibilities I now have.  I stopped wearing dresses and skirts except for when I go to weddings.  I did wear a skirt to church this past Sunday for Easter, and I felt very uncomfortable in it, as if it was no longer "me".  And I devote about five minutes (if that) to putting on makeup in the morning.    I have no drive to put the time into being the "girly girl" I once was, because I am too busy worrying about all the things that Bobby had to worry about.  

Then there are all the things I've blogged about int he past...the most recently being changing the light switch by myself, and all the other stuff I seem to need to know and worry about like generators, car tires and taking care of the pool.  This is all the stuff that Bobby used to do, and it is all part of losing the femininity that I once had.  He used to tease me about "breaking a nail" or "another pair of shoes?" but it was always with love and affection.  He loved me the way I was, manicured nails and all.  


  1. This is Virginia of The Widow's Mite:Encouragement for Widows stopping by on today's blog hop. Read your post, you sound like a widow trying to find who she is "now"--we do change after our spouses pass and slowly (sometimes seems too slow) grow into a new self; not an easy process, for sure! Thank you for openly sharing your heart with others. Knowing we have sisters walking the same path is comforting.

  2. Love this post. I can relate so very well.
    But fear not ...... I would bet that you'll get that part of you back. I did, though it certainly took a while.
    There's hope!

  3. I agree...I think we morph into someone before we realize it. My hair has gone from blond to brown.

  4. Hi. I get where you're coming from, widowhood giving us both our late husband's and our own responsibilities. Frankly, I think mastering all these makes us "Wow" sexy women. Well, maybe I define 'sexy' differently now, more like "Watch me roar!". Anyway, my experience of girlyness came when I started dating. A whole new feminine side opened up. My hair turned from gray brown to blond, and I became as fit as I was in my twenties. I feel revitalized. This wouldn't have happened unless my beloved husband had died, because we'd settled into this pattern. My need to keep loving - me, if nobody else - made me discover a new side of me that I love. Your own metamorphous will be exactly what you need, and will be you, even more so, making you one powerful and 'sexy' woman on your own terms.