Some days are not meant for tears, no matter how much they
want to come.
Experts and non-experts alike say that when you want to cry
in grief, that you should cry. It's
healthier than holding it in and it helps the grieving process. I agree with this, and there are certainly
times where I've cried when it was not a convenient time. But there are certain times when although it
seems appropriate, it's not. Today was
one of those times.
My older son got passed his driver's test today, and he
called me from the test center to tell me he passed and that I should meet him
at the local DMV to apply for the license.
He was so excited! When I got to
the DMV, he was not there yet, so I grabbed a few forms for him to fill out and
got in line. While I was in line, I had
a sudden overwhelming feeling of missing Bobby.
His son was getting his driver's license...a big step for a teenager,
and all I wanted to do was cry because Bobby was not here to share in the
experience, not only for his sake but for my son's sake as well.
But it was not appropriate.
I did not want to steal my son's thunder, rain on his parade, make it
all about me, or even all about his dad.
This day was about him, so I kept my tears to myself until I was alone.
Not an easy task, but when you're a widow, AND a mom, there
are some things you just gotta do!
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