"Turn And Face the Strange"

I realize that I have not been blogging as much as usual, (since May 12 to be exact!) and it bothers me.  This certainly does not mean I've met any sort of “end” to this journey that I call widowhood. Instead, I feel like I am stuck in a rut and I have to get off my butt and do something about it.

Over the past few months, I've identified several aspects of my life that are holding me back from living my best life, and I plan to take steps over the next year or so to change these.  Some of these aspects are widow related, and some are not.  However, the aspects that are not widow related are going to prove to be more difficult to remedy simply because my widowhood is going to slow them down.  If Bobby were here, those things would be a lot easier to change.  I'd also have him to bounce ideas off of.  It's difficult to bounce ideas off of myself.

Change is scary.  The unknown is scary.  Sometimes we are thrust into it - becoming a widow is a perfect example - and we have to adjust whether we want to or not.  But sometimes we have to take it upon ourselves to make the changes happen.  It's hard, because even if we know the changes will be good for us, there is always that level of comfort and familiarity that we must give up, even if that comfort and familiarity makes us miserable.

I desperately want to be a happy person, and I believe that the only way to this path is to purposely change my life.  Some changes will take a lot of work.  Some changes have to wait for my kids to graduate high school.  But the ones that I can do something about before then are the ones I plan to work on during the remainder of 2013 and 2014.  Things have to change because the status quo is not working for me right now!

So, as David Bowie said, "Turn and face the strange," and that is what I plan to do.  I hope to be blogging about these changes, soon.  Stay tuned.