Navigating the Garage

I realize this blog has mostly been about my feelings. However, I've been experiencing more than just emotions, I'm experiencing the garage.

The garage was Bobby's realm. We were mostly traditional, I worked on the inside of the house, doing the cooking, cleaning, bills, and he worked on the outside - cutting the grass, taking care of the pool, landscaping. We would cross over into each other's worlds now and then...I would plant the flowers, and he vacuumed. We had very defined tasks, and that worked really well for us.

Now I'm doing his jobs AND my jobs. (Time to get a cleaning lady.) And part of that is navigating the garage. Luckily, I have various male relatives who are helping me out...but I still have to learn. The other day, I was asking my cousin Tom if there was a such thing as an outdoor vacuum, a tool where I could suck up the leaves and grass instead of blowing them around with a leaf blower. He said yes, that he had one, and he would bring it over to show it to me and if I wanted to get one, then at least I would know what one looked like. So he brought it over the next day. Before he even got it out of his truck, he found a large cloth bag in the garage that said, "TORO" on it. He held it up to me and said, "Apparently, you have one, too." Boy, did I feel like a moron. Not only did I not know if this tool actually existed, I didn't even know I had one. He also pointed out that I had a certain type of saw that I didn't know I had.

While some people may find a little humor in this story, it is the perfect illustration of how lost I am without Bobby in my life. I've been taking care of the pool this season, and I feel like it's been one disaster after another with it. First, the water is crystal clear, but there are purple stains on the walls. Then I find out the heater is shot. Then I get the water tested and it turns out my stabilizer is too high, so I have to drain the pool 12 inches and refill from the hose. While I'm doing this, the liner starts to come out by the stairs. I get the water tested again, and find out I have to drain it AGAIN, this time two feet, pull the liner back up and tuck it into it's slot, and refill it. I turned the hose on at 5:30 this morning and it was full by 8:00 tonight. Now the chlorine is too low and my once crystal clear water is now murky. **Sigh** I'm so lost without him...emotionally, spiritually, and practically!!