Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

Well, it's Father's Day, the first of the most dreaded holidays this during this first year of my loss. Sure, I've already gotten through Mother's Day, my birthday and my son's birthday, and they were hard and he was missed terribly. But this is one of the big ones.

Father's Day was always a fun day for our family. I think my husband liked it better than his birthday. For some reason, he never really cared about his birthday so much, but he loved the big deal we made over him on Father's Day. Two of the best Father's Days I remember are 2000 and 2001. 2000 was special to us because he chose that day to quit smoking. He had planned for a few months to quit and was working his way down from a pack a day to maybe three cigarettes a day. He never said why he chose Father's Day as his quitting day, but he did. I was so proud of him.

2001 was special because that was the day I rented him a Harley Davidson motorcycle for the day. He was so happy! I didn't tell him about it until it was time to go and pick it up...he had the most fun that day. I'm positive it was on his list of top ten days of his life! He rode as a young man and really missed it.

Well 2010 is certainly not going to be a happy or fun Father's Day for me or the kids. I'll be at the cemetery. He is in the same one as my dad, so I'll stop to see them both. Then, in order to get through the day, I'll keep myself busy bbq'ing for my brother (who is also a dad) and his family. That will give me something to focus on today, since I would probably just lay in bed and cry all day. I hope it works.

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